Party Flowers, Osmosians, and Issue Provocateurs

Minnow didn’t get to go to Hong Kong this past week, but at least she attended a nice party on Friday. Foul-Mouthed Braniac added Minnow to his invitation list, perhaps out of pity after hearing of her green card debacle. Not having anywhere better to swim to Minnow happily dived in.

Parties are nice when there are relatively few “Reverse Osmosians”. Minnow groups party attendees into four broad categories:

Wallflowers are shy and tend to recede into the background. Their presence may not add spice to the occasion but their relative absence means they are un-offensive. Some Wallflowers are simply quiet observers and enjoy people watching. Indeed, on some Fridays when Minnow’s little brain does not have any backup power left she morphs into a Wallflower during social gatherings.

Osmosis: the movement of water molecules from an area of high concentration to an area of low concentration via semi-permeable membrane
Osmosians are good conversationalists and a pleasure to meet. They permeate and reach out to others, encouraging exchanges and interactions. Many Osmosians are curious by nature and want to know the unique stories behind individuals. They are interested in the type of work you do, the books you read, and what shapes your opinions. If they don’t understand what you tell them, they are not shy to probe and clarify. This takes confidence, so Osmosians are generally very secure and comfortable with themselves. Because Osmosians shower you with attention and interests they make you feel cherished and draw you to them.

Issue Provocateurs are an interesting breed and cover a wide spectrum of party goers. They come alive when discussing specific issues, ranging from music or movie preferences, politics, traveling, poker, ethical dilemmas, or religion. They can spice up parties with ideas, arguments, conjecture, and insight. Hard core intellectuals/academicians are extreme examples of Issue Provocateurs because they enjoy brainy, objective discourse, often assuming positions just for arguments’ sake. The majority of Issue Provocateurs flush out their beliefs in the hope of convincing others or finding like-minded souls. Issue Provocateurs make good conversationalists when you share their interests or when they are open to hearing your differing perspectives. When they try to impose their beliefs on you it is time to excuse yourself to the bathroom.

Sadly, Reverse Osmosians dominate most parties. Minnow dubs this group “MeMe-s” because they are self-absorbed and exclusively interested in themselves. Conversations are one way and only about them. This group usually starts out as Wallflowers until you ask polite ice-breaker questions. From then on their egos become unleashed, they swing from Wallflowers to predators and saturate you with their interests, expertise, tragedies, and accomplishments till you feel nauseous and must excuse yourself to “grab another drink”. Ask Reverse Osmosians whom they have met at a party afterwards and they probably won’t remember the names, let alone what those people do or where they are from.

Why are there so many Reverse Osmosians? It could be insecurity, a lack of curiosity, or simply a lack of social/conversational skills. Perhaps cable –TV is to blame.