Tech retard

From Bangkok to Tokyo, from LA to NYC, and from London to Istanbul, it is now worldwide knowledge :

Minnow is a Tech Retard

She didn't edit her Google profile (to remove her real name) before sending out her invitation to many of you, and guess what, it took away the fun of anonymity, even if it's self-deceiving. So now she needs to switch to Damage Control:

1. Demand a refund from business school. It was supposed to have whipped Minnow into a "renaissance girl" able to excel in both the real and cyber world.
2. Sue the hospital in HK where Minnow was born, for the docs and nurses must have caused her the brain damage that led to her oversight.
3. Call the lawyers at 1-800-Accident in NYC and sue/blackmail Google, gain notoriety, and write a best-selling memoir "How Tech Retard failed the Google Challenge" to cash out.
4. Cry a river and call in sick tomorrow to get an extra day off.

Minnow welcomes your suggestions for any other lucrative damage control strategies.

A minnowish invitation

Dear -

Friends (past, present, future),
Foes (real, imagined),
Admirers (secret, open, passionate, withdrawn),
Detractors (light and heavy weight),
Exes (male, female),
Lovers (carnal, platonic, animal, mineral),
Objects of fantasy (there are two and a half, but I must keep them to myself),
Worshippers (phantom),
Mentors (for love, life, death, writing, etc),
Stalkers (you know who you are after all these years),
Gurus (real and wannabes),
Pets (feline, human),
Superiors (everybody, it seems),
Underlings (nobody really, as far as I can tell),

You are graciously summoned to browse my blog.

You may recognize me right away, you may never – there's no need to tell me. I hope you will enjoy this quirky space as its content and design evolve, and I hope you will share your thoughts from time to time.

Lovingly,
Minnow

Power Save mode

So why did Minnow write all these "juvenile", "silly", "low-brow", and "crude" poems on her blog?

Well, she doesn't know.

Minnow started this blog as a drafting board, a fermenting ground. The idea is to write without inhibition, to free think, to let the mind wander, to experiment with words. Perhaps some day these will become fodder for something more elaborate. But for now, this blog is not meant to be a serious literary pursuit, which is why she is "Minnow" in bloggersphere.

Minnow doesn't like poetry at all. It baffles her that she keeps churning out childish rhymes. Is she suppressing something that somehow finds it way out?

(When in doubt, go Freudian. Even if you aren't right, you can't be entirely wrong. That's why we love Freud.)

Another plausible explanation is that Minnow needs some down time. She can only pretend to be serious, smart, charged and coherent for so many hours of the day. Like every evolved, urban, two-finned, office-bound android/fish out of water, Minnow switches to "Power Save" every now and then to conserve energy, her precious qi. In fact, everyone around the world has his/her own Power Save mode:

For men: All men drink beer. Japanese men also read Manga, Russian men down vodka, American men watch cable TV, Brazilian men play soccer, Hong Kong men bet on horses, and French men have sex.

For women: All women read glossy magazines. Japanese women also shop, Polish women get their hair colored, American women get manicures and pedicures, Hong Kong women shop and play mahjong, and French women have sex (in my next life I want to be French, male/female).

So what happens when someone does almost none of the above?

Well, she behaves out of her character, such as writing silly poems.

Dragon Lady

Snappy, cheeky, harsh is she
Flaming words dart straight at me
Tenderness has swung to spite
Dragon Lady is fiery

Digging, picking faults in me
Great at nano analysis
PMS, post-partum, menopause
Or is it her astrology

One moment nectar and sugar
Suddenly bile and vinegar
It wasn't so long ago
Where is the delicate flower

Reason, ignore, and cajole
All that sinks into black hole
Just when you think you'll implode
Grande dame reverts to sweet soul

Love or loathe this vexed lady
Somebody please help me